Definition of courtship as told by Wikipedia: Courtship is the period in a couple’s relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. In courtship, a couple gets to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement.
Do men really court women anymore? Or are women just making it a lot easier for them. I spoke to a guy friend of mine the other day and he told me that he was old fashioned and believed in putting in effort in order to get a woman to be “Wifey”. While I thought this was the sweetest thing ever, I also thought to myself who else really thinks like this in 2011?? I won’t discredit the 5% of men out there that actually do court women, but let’s face it there aren’t that many that have this idea in mind. And to be honest a lot of women aren’t really making it a challenge for men. More and more women today don’t know their worth, and so they just give up their time, their goodies and whatever else a guy wants for little to no effort at all. (Not all women) If women are giving it up that easy or just saying yes to whatever, then why on earth would a guy even feel the need to have to court a woman, and take the time out to do those nice things that all women rightly deserve? I know courtship is dying, because whenever I see a guy open a door for a woman I am shocked. I am delighted, but shocked. I shouldn’t be shocked. What is wrong with showing mannerisms that reflect kindness and respect? I was on the train going home and an elderly woman had a suitcase that was blocking the walkway, and in a car full of men not one guy offered to help. A woman got up and asked the elderly woman if she needed help and as she helped she proceeded to say, “men nowadays don’t help at all, chivalry is dead, no wonder why so many women become lesbians”….now that’s another post within itself. But that simple act showed me that chivalry and anything of the like is dead or …dying. I’ve had times when I was struggling with bags and not one man in my presence would offer to help. My mother saw a pregnant lady standing up on a train and not one man offered to give up their seat- she was appalled. In my mother’s words exactly:
“We as a generation settle with shit”—-in my opinion she is completely right.
And honestly to the men out there that actually practice chivalry and courtship, kudos to you!!!(If I didn’t include this, my male friends might kill me- and rightfully so, because not everyone thinks chivalry and courtship is dead- hey the world is huge- I would love to travel and see how men in different cultures and places are when it comes to this topic) A lot of guys in my area are giving other guys a bad rep.
Now I am not saying that this is the case for all men, because I know “a few good men”—get it ha ha ha ok bad joke. I know a few men that open doors, help with bags, take women out, get up for pregnant ladies on trains, buy flowers and the whole shebang, but to be honest I don’t see this happening very often. I think alot of women see that this is rare and so they lower their standards and make it easier for a guy to get their time. When in reality guys standards AREN’T CHANGING. They put you in categories, you’re either “wifey”, a “hoe” or “somewhere in the middle.” If you raise your standards they will have to either step it up and put some effort in, or simply keep it moving. Ladies wouldn’t you rather find out from the beginning if he even thinks you are worth the effort? If he doesn’t then you are probably better off. And men we all know you value the “wifey type,” and the women who respect themselves and give you a little mystery. I think a lot of guys don’t like yes women, you know those women that say yes to everything and submit and don’t set standards or morals for themselves. While it would be nice to have a woman or man that says yes to everything it eventually gets boring and that’s when people seek out new interests, new challenges and new people. Men if you’re lazy or you just think that courtship is for suckers and women shouldn’t be treated like the Queens they are then you shouldn’t expect to be treated like a King. For the ladies that do fit in this category, I urge that you get some “higher standards” and lay it on the line. Of course women should do their part too and put in effort, but only for the right Knight in shining armor….just saying.
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