Definition of a benchwarmer: a substitute who seldom plays, an athlete who plays only when a starter of the team is replaced or, “someone who fills a seat until the TRUE owner takes their seat.”

Have you ever been so into someone just to find out that that person had either just went through a bad breakup or just been hurt too many times and just wasn’t ready to be in a relationship? Sometimes a person will still choose to talk to someone even though they have made it clear that they want nothing further. They think that they can somehow change this person’s mind and sweep them off their feet. And what ends up happening is that the person they are into uses them and just “hangs out” with them whenever they are bored. By the time they realize that they have had enough their interest has met another amazing individual and is now ready to make them the “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. You were just the seat filler, the guy or girl they were “kicking it with” with until they were ready to actually put in effort for someone else. You were the person who made them realize they did want something real but took too long to realize it. Now someone else is benefiting from the fruits of your labor. It leaves you thinking, “what does he/she have that I don’t”? You feel insecure and just pissed that you ever gave that person any of your time. Does this sound familiar? If it does please read on. Here are 5  signs that you might be a benchwarmer and ways you can prevent this from ever happening again. (YOU ARE MORE THAN A SEAT FILLER, YOU ARE THE STAR OF THE GAME, THE MVP, AND DON’T YOU EVER FORGET THAT) If you start acting like an MVP, you will attract those who value, value the moment they see it.

1) Your person of interest does not take you out ever. If someone is interested in you and really wants to get to know you as a person they will invest time and money in order to do that. If they are looking for just another “buddy” to mess around with or fill time with they will hang out with you only at their house or yours and never offer to do anything that might require effort or involve your interests.

2) The person you like NEVER CALLS YOU and only texts you. I have said this before and I am going to say it again YOU ARE WORTH A PHONE CALL and if they don’t think that, you are definitely just a benchwarmer in their eyes.

3) The person you like only calls or texts you when they are bored. They don’t actually hit you up because they miss you and wan’t to talk to you, you are just another person in their phone who they can bug when they have no plans on a saturday night.

4) Nobody in this person’s circle knows about your existence. If the person you have an interest in hasn’t told not one person about you, then you are probably not someone they think is special, and the truth is YOU ARE.

5) This person has had their heart broken and now doesn’t feel like putting in any effort for you at all. They have a, “i don’t give a crap attitude” and you have become the shoulder they can lean on even when they didn’t ask for one. Chances are they are taking you for granted and making themselves emotionally unavailable on purpose. NEWS FLASH YOU DIDN’T HURT THEM, SO WHY SHOULD YOU PAY FOR THEIR EX’S MISTAKES…..you shouldn’t, you’re a freakin MVP please start acting like one.

A person can only continuously hurt you if you allow them to, don’t do that. I think a lot of times we forget our price tag and undermine our value. Your value is indefinite. Thanks for reading guys. Email me questions or ideas at iwantmykissesback@gmail.com and follow the iwantmykissesback blog on twitter @iwantmykisses