A few days ago I received a text from an old boyfriend/friend telling me to not write on his timeline on facebook anymore and to only contact him via text message or email, because his girlfriend was upset that I was writing on his wall, and that he didn’t want his family to talk about them behind his back. Pretty much he was trying to avoid an “unneccesary” argument. When I received this text I wasn’t having the best of days and after reading it I was even more agitated and just right out APPALLED. I was so appalled that I deleted him from facebook; for those of you thinking I went to far, I am going to explain why I took it there.
I dated this guy 6 years ago as a late teen and only for a few months. I am now in my twenties and I just didn’t understand why his girlfriend would be so upset. Me and this guy are friends and we have not been romantically involved in 6 years and our relationship was not even longterm, and to top it off all I wrote on his timeline was a simple “how are you?” “how have you been?” I am not one to go on rants about things but I felt this was worthy of a blog post because it is the pure definition of jealousy and insecurity all balled up in one, which I believe has absolutely, positively no place in a relationship whatsoever.
A simple “how are you?” is very harmless and what makes that situation worse is that she does know I am his ex from a very long time ago. I think her getting upset over a simple hello, how are you shows that she is insecure and does not trust her boyfriend. On top of that I do not even live in the same state as this so called “friend” of mine and almost never see him. Why am I threat? I am in a very loving relationship with a man who knows about that ex in particular and has no problem at all with our platonic friendship. In fact I have friends that are males that may write on my fb page and it does not affect him at all because for one he completely trusts me wholeheartedly, and he is a confident man who is not insecure, and we are very open with our communication. Jealousy has absolutely no place within a relationship because it hinders a relationships’ growth and causes unnecessary tension that could result in the loss of friendships and other relationships with people. If the person you are with does not trust you then your relationship will not be successful and you will have a lot of problems down the road. In fact in my opinion you shouldn’t be in a relationship until you completely trust a person, because trust is at the foundation of every relationship.
As a result of this annoying text message I simply told my “friend” that I wouldn’t be contacting him at all, because I did not feel the need to contact him in secret when I was doing absolutely nothing wrong. Extreme acts of jealousy such as the one displayed in this story in my opinion has to be a result of insecurities. I think that if you want to maintain a healthy relationship any insecurities should be addressed and the root of those insecurities should be addressed in order avoid extreme cases of unnecessary jealously. Jealousy like that would definitely push me away from a significant other and be extremely stressful.