Tag: relationships

BlackPeopleMeet Review

Posted on by Kisses

BlackPeopleMeet.com Review:

If you are looking for a site that is more specific then I would suggest BlackPeopleMeet. I personally do not have a racial preference when it comes to dating but I wanted to try this site out and see what it was about. I did notice that on this website there were people of different cultural backgrounds all throughout. While this website does have a fee it is on the cheaper side when it comes to paid dating sites. You can have a free membership but you will only be able to send flirts and no messages or any other forms of communication, so a paid subscription is recommended. I paid $13.00 for one month and I believe for a 3 month subscription it was about $43.00 which is not that bad compared to other paid sites. Economically this is a good choice if you are trying to meet other African-American singles in your area. One thing I will say is be careful when choosing what kind of subscription you want. I clicked a one month subscription and somehow received three months. Since I knew I wanted to review this site for you guys I decided just to keep it and not contact them, but this is just an fyi. I am going to list below Pros and Cons for this website:

Pros:

-There are a lot of different matches to choose from

-You can send flirts

-There is a live chat feature
– There are daily matches

-They include dating tips and success stories

Cons:

-There are some creepers and sometimes I got messages that were clearly copy and pasted several times

  • You cannot really search based on personal interest so you have to really get to know a person first or read their page in order to see compatibility

  • There is no match system that uses actual interest and moral beliefs etc

  • There is no phone app so it is very hard to use on your phone

  • Does not allow you to search based on sexual orientation- so not a good site for those who aren’t straight

Overall I would recommend this site, but if you are looking for a more thorough match system this site has not developed one yet. It is a good site to meet a lot of people.

10 Ways To Make Your Dating Profile Stand Out From The Rest

Posted on by Kisses

  1. Have a main picture that shows you in your happiest state. People love to be around happy people, and I know the profiles that appealed to me when I tried online dating were profiles that had a guy smiling or looking very happy.

  2. Have atleast 5 clear pictures that show you from different angles. Also put up pictures that really reflect who you are. If you wouldnt normally meet someone and stick your boobs out in hopes of attracting them don’t put up a picture that shows all your goodies. I guarantee you will attract all the wrong people.

  3. Do not lists all the things you are not looking for. It makes you look picky and like you are looking for perfection even if that is not your true intention. Focus on the positive. I am not saying to never disclose this information I just think that while getting to know somene you will find out if they have all the qualities you want.

  4. Be honest and not too vague

  5. Do not write more than 3 or 4 paragraphs about yourself. It will become to wordy and like you are trying to sum up your whole life story on a page, and if you are pretty awesome it would be impossible to do so. Give others an idea of what you are into and what your personality is like but don’t give them everything. Everyone loves a little mystery. I personally won’t read a whole page once it starts turning into a novel.

  6. Do not include pictures with you and other people. It will take away the focus of you and it is not facebook, it is a dating site.

  7. Have a good tagline and description that is different from other profiles. Usually profiles that interested me the most were different from the norm. With that being said do not write a profile full of jokes and nothing of substance. If I think your taking this for a joke I won’t take your seriously.

  8. Use recent pictures.

  9. Do not say anything that will make you come off as deserperate. If I read a page that says, “I really need a girlfriend” that makes me think “RED FLAG- HIGHLY INSECURE-AND CLINGLY PERSON ON BOARD- STAY AWAY”

  10. Stay away from TMI- do not reveal unnecessary information. It is okay to reveal some of your flaws while getting to know someone but do not make a list of them and post them on your page. That is heavy information that could scare away someone who doesn’t even know your name. Take it easy!!!

Thanks For Reading

-Kisses

Why Jealousy Has No Place In A Relationship

Posted on by Kisses
                   A few days ago I received a text from an old boyfriend/friend telling me to not write on his timeline on facebook anymore and to only contact him via text message or email, because his girlfriend was upset that I was writing on his wall, and that he didn’t want his family to talk about them behind his back. Pretty much he was trying to avoid an “unneccesary” argument. When I received this text I wasn’t having the best of days and after reading it I was even more agitated and just right out APPALLED. I was so appalled that I deleted him from facebook; for those of you thinking I went to far, I am going to explain why I took it there.
                   I dated this guy 6 years ago as a late teen and only for a few months. I am now in my twenties and I just didn’t understand why his girlfriend would be so upset. Me and this guy are friends and we have not been romantically involved in 6 years and our relationship was not even longterm, and to top it off all I wrote on his timeline was a simple “how are you?” “how have you been?” I am not one to go on rants about things but I felt this was worthy of a blog post because it is the pure definition of jealousy and insecurity all balled up in one, which I believe has absolutely, positively no place in a relationship whatsoever.
                    A simple “how are you?” is very harmless and what makes that situation worse is that she does know I am his ex from a very long time ago. I think her getting upset over a simple hello, how are you shows that she is insecure and does not trust her boyfriend. On top of that I do not even live in the same state as this so called “friend” of mine and almost never see him. Why am I threat? I am in a very loving relationship with a man who knows about that ex in particular and has no problem at all with our platonic friendship. In fact I have friends that are males that may write on my fb page and it does not affect him at all because for one he completely trusts me wholeheartedly, and he is a confident man who is not insecure, and we are very open with our communication. Jealousy has absolutely no place within a relationship because it hinders a relationships’ growth and causes unnecessary tension that could result in the loss of friendships and other relationships with people. If the person you are with does not trust you then your relationship will not be successful and you will have a lot of problems down the road. In fact in my opinion you shouldn’t be in a relationship until you completely trust a person, because trust is at the foundation of every relationship.
                      As a result of this annoying text message I simply told my “friend” that I wouldn’t be contacting him at all, because I did not feel the need to contact him in secret when I was doing absolutely nothing wrong. Extreme acts of jealousy such as the one displayed in this story in my opinion has to be a result of insecurities. I think that if you want to maintain a healthy relationship any insecurities should be addressed and the root of those insecurities should be addressed in order avoid extreme cases of unnecessary jealously. Jealousy like that would definitely push me away from a significant other and be extremely stressful.

Forgiving Your Ex

Posted on by Kisses

Today I want to talk about something that I think a lot of people can relate to, and that is forgiving your ex. I felt it was necessary for me to do a post on this because forgiving my ex was one of the hardest things I had to do. In fact a part of why I started this blog has to do with the empowerment that I felt after actually forgiving my past. For me this blog symbolizes taking back your soul and really just working on having healthy relationships in today’s world. I do not think it would be possible for anybody to have a healthy relationship with someone if they held onto the pain from their past.
Awhile back I was in a very turbulent relationship. My ex didn’t show me affection, didn’t treat me the way that I deserved to be treated, and at the time I allowed it to happen. I was cheated on and lied to, and I was kept a secret from his family and friends. Now I know you guys are wondering why would you stay? why would you put up with that? Well there were times I didn’t stay, it was and on and off situation, but then we always came back to each other. One day I realized that I did not like who I became. I became simply a reflection of a man and had lost myself in someone who wasn’t even deserving of my love.  This was not healthy and I had truly forgotten my worth, and I wanted my kisses back, they were given under false pretenses. He had walked away yet another time, but this time I was angry, I was a woman scorned. I wanted him to feel what I felt, cry those tears I cried. But then I realized I was wasting time concerned about someone who slept just fine at night. And I also realized that, that was not the person I was. The person I am would wish nothing bad on anyone else, not even an enemy.
My heart was broken and I couldn’t understand why for him I wasn’t enough. Well I stopped thinking I wasn’t enough, because I knew I was more than enough. I know I am not perfect but I was a very loving and forgiving girlfriend and I was not about to let this boy continue to have control over me and my soul. You see forgiveness is not for the other person. Most likely the other person is doing just fine. Forgiveness is truly for yourself. When you don’t forgive someone you hold on to the pain that they caused you. Why would you want to hold on to something that gets you no where. It’s like worrying, it’s like a rocking chair, you rock back and forth, but it gets you absolutely no where. No point in it at all. The same goes for forgiveness. When you hold onto what an ex did, you leave no room for you to grow or for someone else that treats you better to enter your life. It was hard. I cried a lot.
One thing I can truly say, is that my situation changed me as a woman. I no longer allow or will ever allow a man to treat me that way again. And I don’t think every man is like my ex, I know there are plenty of great men out there. I love myself wholeheartedly. I have my own life and my own individuality. I am not a woman scorned or simply a product of my circumstance. And that is my message to anyone out there struggling to forgive their ex. You do not have to be a product of your circumstance and there is someone else out there who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. What helped me get through that tough time in my life was my spiritual relationships, focusing on actually loving myself and doing things that allowed personal growth, and now I can honestly say I have forgiven my ex. I could have a cordial conversation with my ex without feeling angry or like I want them back or anything of that nature. I wish them nothing but the best and I actually hope they have learned from our experience and that they treat the next woman the way every woman should be treated; with true love and respect.

Remember you do not have to be a product of your circumstance. Take your soul back and get in control of your life. Moving on sometimes can be a great thing, because you have no idea what amazing things you have waiting for you.

For ways to get back that confidence and love for yourself check out my blog post entitled, Why you should date yourself before you date anyone else and Tips for getting over a Breakup.

Thanks for reading!!

-xoxo Kisses

Exposed

Posted on by Kisses

First off I just want to say I am backkkk. I went on vacation and the summer was a little crazy, but I am so excited about the new posts that I have for you guys.

As the summer sadly approaches it’s end, I feel that it is only necessary to share a summer story from a few years back. Out of respect I will not include names. Two years ago me and one of my female friends were at a club when we met two guys. I knew of these guys before because of mutual friends, but this was the first time I had actually met them. At the club we exchanged numbers, and I didn’t really think much about it. After that night the guys hit me and my friend up and said they wanted to chill, and so we said okay. Little did I know that was a huge mistake.

Well we met up at a pier close to our neighborhood that has a lot of fun things to do by the water. I talked with “my guy” and my friend walked away with “her guy”. Everything was going fine, it was a simple outing in which we were just trying to get to know each other better. Well midway through my conversation with “my guy,” my friend came over and she looked very pissed. I asked her if she was okay, and she said under her breathe, “I will tell you later”. Naturally I was concerned, and right after we went home and went our separate ways. I called her as soon as I got in the house and she told me that the guy had exposed himself to her. I was shocked, when she said this, I was like, “what do you mean exposed.” She told me the guy took his penis out and showed it to her. I thought to myself, what the hell??? Who does that?? Was he on something? I was so upset that my friend even had to go through that.

She then told me that the conversation was stale and that out of nowhere he felt it was necessary to pull his penis out, and when she became shocked (because normal people don’t do that) he laughed and said, “you scared.” My friend was not scared she was appalled, shocked and disgusted. What the hell did he take her for? Did he think she would say, oh that’s nice, can i play? Did this kind of activity work for him on the regular? Because quite frankly I don’t see how it could. Not only was this boy (not a man) disrespectful he was also conceited and out of line. No guy should ever pull out their penis on a first date, let alone a second or third. I don’t even see how it is common protocol for any date, but I wanted to slap him in the face. Better yet how about slapping him with his own genitals, maybe then he would realize how out of line and ridiculous he was being. Anybody out there who is reading this, please please don’t expose yourself on a date, not only can you get yourself in trouble with the law but you also make yourself look like a complete douchebag and someone with no home training. Nobody should ever treat someone with that kind of disrespect and YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE!!!

Got a story, or a question? Send it to iwantmykissesback@gmail.com and follow the iwantmykissesback blog @iwantmykisses on twitter.

Thanks for reading!!

 

SEND ME YOUR CRAZY DATE STORIES

Posted on by Kisses

Hey guys so I plan on adding a section to my blog about crazy/hell date stories. I will post them up anonymously for discretion. It can be a really good or bad date. I know I have experienced some bad dates and even witnessed some. I think it will be interesting to see some of the dates that you guys have gone on. I can’t wait to read your stories. PLEASE EMAIL ME AT iwantmykissesback@gmail.com. Follow the Iwantmykissesback blog on twitter at @iwantmykisses. Also like the blog page on Facebook so you can hear about all the new posts. Thank you all for reading and stay tuned for some new posts. HAVE A GREATTT DAYY!!!!!!

EMAIL: IWANTMYKISSESBACK@GMAIL.COM

SEND YOUR STORIES!!!!!

once i get a good amount of stories i will post them up for you all to see and comment on as well!!!

Letter to the emotionally unavailable men of the world

Posted on by Kisses

**** Disclaimer: This letter is not a personal letter to anyone in specific even though it may appear that way. This letter is for those who have ever experienced dating an emotionally unavailable person (which can be frustrating) or who has even been that emotionally unavailable person. It can be frustrating on both ends. While this post is titled letter to the emotionally unavailable “men” of the world, being emotionally unavailable can apply to both genders. I am simply writing from my own point of view as a woman.

Dear Mr.I-Have-A-Wall-Up,
Please stop wasting my time. It is not my job to break down that wall you put up after Betsy broke your heart. I like mystery but if you give me nothing, that is all I will give you back. I do not have time to constantly try to prove myself and ask for forgiveness for a crime I didn’t commit. Stop waiting for Ms. Right to come along and change your whole viewpoint on women and relationships, because well she doesn’t exist. You create distance between people by relying heavily on impersonal means of communication like “texting”. You press ignore when she calls and you are always “busy,” but the moment she is ready to walk away you give her just enough to keep her there for just a moment longer. You were hurt and since then you refuse to open up to anyone else unless they pry information out of you by threatening to push you over a ledge. You play games with women to see how “strong” they are, and to see if they will put up with your b.s even when your not willing to put up with theirs. You use humor and sarcasm to cover up your real feelings and even if you miss her you keep it a secret. You will never fall in love because you simply do not allow yourself to do so. You are a wuss and afraid that if you let anyone in that they will do what “she did” or worse. You think being closed off makes you look cool but instead it makes you look weak. The strongest people in the world are those that allow themselves the opportunity to feel. No girl has ever made your heart skip a beat, except for Betsy who broke your heart and you go through woman like underwear. You leave them confused or even worse heartbroken because they thought you were all-in when you were really half-a**ing it the whole time. You keep dating in hopes that the next woman will break that wall down and sweep you off your feet, but it is impossible. Only you can break down that wall and allow love to grow in your heart. Anything worth having involves risks, but without taking those risks you will never develop a deep emotional connection with anyone. And in the process you will hurt many who were vulnerable enough to open up to you. In the end you think you are strong because you don’t feel the pain that she does and you move on with ease. But deep down inside their is a pain that lingers like the aroma left after a fire. You haven’t forgiven that person from your past and you are blaming the world for their mistakes. Guilty until proven innocent. But that my dear isn’t justice….nor is it love. Stop wasting my time and so many others. Work on yourself and once you remove that wall then think about giving me a call, but by then I probably would have moved on to someone who cared enough to give me an honest chance.

Sincerly,
Ms. Tired-of-Your-Crap-so-now- I- don’t- waste- my- time- with -you- anymore……

Ps: I want my kisses back………

“Think Like A Man” – Movie Review

Posted on by Kisses

Hey guys I hope all is well with you. It was requested that I write a review for the movie, “Think Like A Man” based off of Steve Harvey’s best seller, “Act like a lady, Think Like A Man.” First I have to say that I loved the movie and that I actually saw it twice. I rarely go to see a movie twice while it is in theatres.  I read Steve Harvey’s Book years ago, so I had a little background before I even saw the movie. This movie interwines humor and real life issues that men and women go through in dating and relationships. I think that there is a wonderful balance of humor and plot. I love comedies so this movie did it for me. Kevin Hart who plays, “Cedric” is hilarious and will keep you laughing throughout the movie as he focuses on celebrating his “divorce”. In the beginning of the movie you are introduced to the cast who represents different types of daters/relationships. Here is a list of the characters, as well as the obstacles that they face.

Meagan Good (Mya-the 90 day rule) vs. Romany Malco (Zeke- the Player)
Jerry Ferrara (Jeremy, the non-committer) vs. Gabrielle Union (Kristen, the Ring girl)
Terrence Jenkins (Michael, The Momma’s Boy) vs. Regina Hall ( Candace, The Single Mother)
Michael Ealy (The Dreamer) vs. Taraji P. Henson (Lauren, The woman who is her own man)
Kevin Hart (Cedric, Happily Divorced Guy)
Gary Owen (Happily Married Guy)

I love these different scenarios because I feel that anyone can relate to at least one of these situations, or at least knows someone who has dealt with a similar situation. It is a clever battle of the sexes that shows how men and women really think. In the beginning the women flock to get Steve Harvey’s best seller and use it as a guide/way to manipulate their men into giving them what they want. It eventually backfires but teaches valuable relationship advice in the process. While I think that the book is helpful because it shows how men think and breaks it down, I also feel like most of what is in the book is common sense.

I actually felt that the acting in this movie was really good. I felt like I could identify with Meagan Good’s (Mya) character as well as Taraji’s (Lauren) character. Out of all of the scenarios represented my favorite on screen scenarios had to be, “The Dreamer” vs. “The woman who is her own man” and “The 90 day rule” vs. The player”. Many times when a woman is independent and so strong, she tries to play both roles (man and woman) and in the movie it shows exactly why this doesn’t work. It also shows that when a man has a very supportive woman who believes in his dreams by his side it will push him to realize his full potential. I felt that the difference in financial status was a great touch to this movie, because while I don’t think you should settle, I also think that some people are unrealistic. If a person you are dating is actually doing something to achieve their goals but not exactly where you are in life it doesn’t mean that they aren’t dating material. It is when a person is doing nothing to achieve what they want when you should reconsider.

I loved the scenario between Zeke and Mya because it represented knowing your worth and setting some standards. As Steve puts it “Men respect standards, get some.” This could not be more true. Someone can only treat you badly again and again if you allow them to. And if a guy doesn’t want to date you anymore or put in the time and effort to really getting to know your mind you can simply move on without feeling like you’ve lost a part of yourself. I think this is a very well organized movie that is not only relatable but ridiculousy funny. Kevin Hart is simply a clown and gives the movie just enough spice to keep you laughing till your belly hurts. I highly recommend this movie!!!

Stop Texting me, no seriously

Posted on by Kisses

So it’s 2012 and everybody and their mama is texting. This is the age of textaholicism. While I think texting is a good way to communicate when you are unable to speak I do not think it should be the ONLY way to speak. I am so tired of people telling me that the person they are talking to doesn’t “like” to talk on the phone and just likes to text. I think that is straight BULL. I don’t mean to be harsh but maybe he or she just doesn’t like to talk to you on the phone.

Actually if I meet a guy and he tells me that he doesn’t talk on the phone and he only texts I am automatically turned off because communication is very key to me. I have no problem talking on the phone, in fact I prefer to talk on the phone over texting, but there are sometimes when it is just better for me to text because I am unable to talk. And while I like to talk on the phone I don’t like to talk all day, I have a life. I like to talk to the person I am seeing at least once a day, whether it is via text or phone just to check in, but I refuse to text every single thing. I am not dating a phone and I would like to actually hear the person’s voice sometime since I probably won’t get to see them all the time.

Also I absolutely hate when someone texts me a ridiculously long text about something serious. I understand if it is a dire situation and you are unable to call and you need me right away, but if I know you can indeed call me and you just decided to send me a 7 page novel about how you are so in love with me, chances are I am not even going to respond. WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? Just call me, or tell me in person. A little more direct contact goes a long way. In a relationship communication in all avenues is important so I personally think that if someone only texts you and does not call, you might want to reevaluate that relationship,….unless this is a person you happen to see so often that you don’t even need to talk on the phone. And also if what you are telling me amounts to 7 text messages chances are its probably better said on the phone because it probably requires a long response back.

I feel like if someone is really interested in you they will have no problem picking up the phone and talking to you even if it is for a few minutes. And to be honest the people that tell me they are not phone people are usually people that can’t hold conversations or people that have come encounter with people that can’t hold conversations so they don’t want to be on the phone. No one wants to be on the phone when you’re sitting there in complete silence. Find a more interesting person –you might change your mind. Honestly if I don’t find a guy interesting enough to have a whole conversation on the phone with (not a 5 minute convo) chances are I am probably not going to want to waste my time texting him either, but that’s just me. What are your thoughts? email me, send me a question or a topic you want me to write about at iwantmykissesback@gmail.com and don’t forget to follow me on twitter- www.twitter.com/iwantmykisses
Thanks for reading

Kisses xoxo

A Witness to Bull****

Posted on by Kisses

Two weeks ago right before valentine’s day I witnessed a very sad and appalling travesty. Yes I feel the need to be completely dramatic, because what I saw was that serious. I went to dinner with one of my close female friends and as we were sitting in “Fridays” my friend informed me that the female behind me had just been stood up midway into dinner. WHATTT!! So pretty much the waiter asked the guy that she was with to see his id after he ordered an alcoholic beverage and then he said oh I think I dropped my id outside when I got out the car. Well she was waiting for him for atleast an hour because he had gone to leave before me and my friend had received our food and we were finished and ready to go and she was left alone. What makes this whole thing even worse is the fact that the guy was also her ride. My friend overheard the whole story while I stepped away to go to the restroom. I wanted to turn around so bad and show my sympathy for this girl. This is an example of complete and utter bull***. This guy takes the cake and award for a**hole of the year. No woman should be left alone on a date, even if the person isn’t interested. Not only was this woman left with the bill, but she was left with no ride. You have to be a very heartless and cold person to do that to someone. I hope she knows that she deserves so much better. Guys like that make it harder for the great men of the world to date, because more women have their guards up and refuse to let them in. Moral of the story is, there are some cold people out there, but if something like this happens to you, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It probably means you need to choose better and that the next time you see this person on street please trip them into reality, cause that isn’t cool. Know your worth, and everyone is worth more than that. No one deserves that kind of treatment so hold your head high and keep it moving. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!—he definitely is not—-loser