So before I begin, I would like to sincerely apologize for my absence. Life got a little crazy and I have been so busy,… but enough of that. One of my problems is that I worry way too much. I over analyze everything instead of just letting things be. I haven’t always been this way, but unfortunately my past kept hitting me in the face. I decided to take a stand and I started hitting my past right back in the face and I told him to HOP OFF cause for once in my life I don’t give a s***. I refuse to let my past define me anymore, I MAKE MYSELF, not anyone else.
If you find yourself questioning every moment and everything in your life, STOP IT- no seriously, coming from a person who has done that in the past it gets you no where. I was talking to a guy once and I would ask him stuff like, “do you think we are compatible?”, “did you miss me?”, “but what if?” . That was a big no no, I just came off as insecure, and it made it seem like I doubted his feelings for me when in reality he gave me absolutely no reason to doubt his feelings at all. He was affectionate, open, and honest, and we had a lot of fun together, but I was messing things up by questioning everything. We could be having a great time and I would then mess up a perfectly romantic moment with an annoying insecure question. And that’s when I had to take a deep look at myself and I realized that because I had been in an on and off relationship with a man who always gave me reason to doubt him, insecurity had become a part of my character. He wasn’t open, he was secretive, he betrayed my trust, he wasn’t affectionate, and those were all red flags that I didn’t pay attention to until the damage was done. But instead of blaming him or myself about it I decided to leave it in the past. It happened, I learned from it and I am no longer in that situation so there is no reason for me to take any baggage with me. I left that crap in the back alley, so why would i take a bag for keep sake? Before that situation I was super confident, and wasn’t the type to nag or question everything. I choose to live a little because if I don’t I will mess up all my relationships over someone who really doesn’t matter at all. Why keep someone relevant if they aren’t???
Now I am going with the flow of things, and if a guy gives me any reason to doubt him, and I mean a real reason I just won’t continue talking to him. If a guy or girl gives you any reason to doubt them then chances are the relationship won’t last, or it will be rocky. The person you are with should never give you a reason to doubt yourself or what you guys have. Remember to love yourself. I had to really take a good look at myself and say in my Madea voice, “what the hell are you doing?” Life is wayyy too short to stress everything, and if the right someone comes along and is treating you right don’t mess it up with unnecessary things. I would say if you are in this place to work on loving yourself more. It sometimes takes time and won’t happen overnight but it can indeed happen. Do things that make you happy. I would say be so sure of yourself that you wake up saying “man i am the s***!” I am not saying turn into this cocky person, but be yourself and love you with all your might, because you deserve the best and you are probably giving yourself less credit than you actually deserve. Know your worth and your price tag, don’t put yourself on the clearance rack. Go with the flow and enjoy the moment. Life is too short to not live a little. Actually LIVE A LOT!!!!
Tag: blame
TMI – too much information …….no seriously
So on Sunday I was watching one of my favorite shows, “The Millionaire Matchmaker” with Patti Stanger, and after she was featured on a show in which her fans could ask her questions about relationships. The host asked her what was one of the top mistakes people make on first dates, and she said “TMI”. I thought this was interesting because I was veryyy guilty of doing this myself, so I thought I would write a blog post about it. And I know that I am not the only one that has made this mistake before. For those of you who don’t know what show I am talking about, it is a show on Bravo that is about a matchmaker, Patti Stanger who finds love for millionaires. I came across the show a few months ago and now I’m hooked. While I don’t agree with everything Patti has to say, I agree with a lot. The show appeals to me because, well we all want love and also it shows the common mistakes that we all make sometimes or mistakes we would NEVER make lol. I know for sure that I am definitely going to try to avoid making the TMI mistake again.
During the segment after Patti’s show, she pretty much said that people give too much information about their past relationships or painful situations that they have gone through in their lives way too soon. This appealed to me because there was a situation in which I was getting to know someone at a rough time in my life. I was having what I would call an “emotional week”. I am actually a very private person, but during our first few conversations they asked me about my past relationships and being overly emotional, I told a little too much about them and only focused on the negative. After this happened the guy who will not be named made some assumptions about me and I was livid. The truth of the matter is, I shouldn’t have told him anything about the past just as yet. I couldn’t even blame him for making those assumptions. All he had to go on was what I was giving him and what I was showing him. Remember if, “someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Well that was a stupid move on my part and he already had in his mind a picture of me. First impressions are key and we all go through a lot in our lives, but revealing those things right away, show a red flag because the person makes assumptions without knowing all the facts and puts you in a category.
Stay away from TMI….no seriously. It’s kind of like when your friend tells you about their bowel movements and about how much gas they have. WOAA TMI. Or it’s like those facebook statuses that pop up in your newsfeed displaying information you probably shouldn’t know because chances are that person isn’t even that close to you. Yet somehow you know their baby daddy won’t pay child support or that so and so is currently at the mall located at 123 cherry lane. I know this one guy who started to talk to this girl who had lost a male friend. Well, that was all she would talk about and she made it seem as if the relationship they had was deeper than friendship. So the girl asked the guy I know to go with her to the grave site after only knowing him for a few days or was it one day hmm. While I understand that she was going through a lot I think that would turn me off if it was the other way around, because you barely know the person and they are asking you to share a moment that you don’t think you are ready for or even know too much about. It’s too much, it’s too heavy. It’s like meeting someone and saying, “hey I’ve only known you for 24 hours but could you come with me to this funeral”…..AWKWARDD. I think the first time you meet someone should be fun and focused on getting to know a person’s personality and what interests you both share, that way if you guys hit it off then you can share those things as time progresses….just saying.